Exposing Yourself is it a Good Idea?

Exposing what?

I have intimacy issues...

and no confidence.

I think I am transparent, to the world it might appear I am transparent - I try to project that. Cleverness and a true sense of 'togetherness' like I have my shite together, but sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I am sure I cause confusion to others. All warm and embracing, heart on my sleeve, bold brave self effacing - sometimes a little nude to express that. Painfully shy me. Loud extrovert boisterous me - I am bold brash and open. Attracted to people with open loving hearts and minds, I admire them because I am a bit of a coward.

I apologise for everything.

Sometimes I hate myself for everything.

I hide.

Either I yell jump up and down and scream LOOK AT ME...or I hide. I retract I brood I pick at my feathers like a dysfunctional bird in a cage, till I am repulsive and repugnant. It never lasts long thank god or my brain, my disposition, I don't like the misery or the failure it is unattractive to me, it is not who I am.

There is a need to make amends but then where do I land?

On unfamiliar ground on a strange land. Will I like it?

Why am I terrified to appear as beautiful? I am not remarkable - so I want to dumb it down, I don't want to let anyone down, what if I meet you and I am only me? My age, my stage, in this skin, with these contents in my head, within in my heart, what I can offer you? What if its not enough?

I have a slew of incredible photo's my partner has taken - he has exulted and perfected me. Is exposing myself a good idea I am only just me?



Life is short...

Branding Research ::: TELL ME IS IT ALL JUST SPIN?

There seems to be a sudden glut of branding specialists and businesses. It's not just for businesses and corporations anymore either, individuals are now being encouraged to be their own brand: Footballers, industry experts and employees!

Eight to ten years ago it was all about the personal or company Mission Statement. Now its about the Unique Positioning Statement attached to your personal or company brand. 

There are some beautiful brands and logos around - some lovely websites and marketing pitches being bandied around. I encourage all of that I in fact love that side of branding myself its an area I have specialised in and continue to thoroughly enjoy.

But with this proliferation of BRANDING and the recent focus on its perceived importance what I find myself asking is...

Does it work?

Who uses it?

Who benefits from its implementation?

What businesses if any thrive without ever truly have engaged it?

When does it work?

What is its value?

Now no one wants to do a survey.
Usually they are time consuming and a little irritating like a pap smear or prostate examination.

BUT!

What if the results are highly relevant to you? What if they clarify some underlying questions and business/branding queries you may have? In this instance I do hope its relevant and applicable information I can share with you the will be beneficial and at least interesting to examine.

WHO

The people I need to complete the survey will be from all walks of business and 'monetising' large and small, local and global. Please I implore you to pass this invitation on.

WHAT

What am I hoping to achieve? To gather the findings and deliver clear and distinct information that can help your bottom line.

WHERE

See the survey below and if you feel compelled subscribe as I will posting the results in a blog with anonymity assured.

WHEN

Now

HOW

By asking clear and basic questions then by compiling the results and deliver them back to you here free of charge.

All I need is a little of your time and help, I am not gathering a data base this is solely to satisfy my own queries and curiosity. All information will be strictly confidential and not used for profit on my behalf or any other party.

So get on board and lets find out what really happening.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Why I Admire People Who QUIT!

I am a trier and a striver in many ways. Always trying new things and striving to make things better. I am also a sticker - I stick by people and things.

Now that all might sound good right?

Its not good.

I think its my perception of being 'good' and 'reliable' and 'strong'. Sometimes (often) it hasn't served me. I will be there smiling and dying on the inside, my clenched brushed teeth like a little shield that belies the 'I am dying in here' mental tract I am stemming from exploding into the atmosphere verbally. I suppose in the past I could be accused of manacling and muzzling myself for the greater good of others...yes that statement could be quite fair.

Recently - very recently I decided I was going to give up. Quit. Let go of, send it off into the funeral pyre of failures. Oh I tried, I truly tied and the feedback was I was actually quite good at it but inside...sad grey limp me.

Sady Me

I don't give up on things easily like I said I commit to things - morally. My friendships; I am the stayer, the stalwart, the through thick or thin pin. My head says I will make things work. I can be irritatingly determined. Taking things on I carefully consider it all, I take a task and pick it up and examine it from every angle, I play out the what ifs in my head, I am careful, deliberate, conscious.

Then there are those other types, the people I have met that appear to have done the same then enter into it and go...

'You know what...actually...no'

I how I have grown to admire these people, they are 10 foot tall in my estimation.

Previously I was like a dog with a bone, I would gnaw on things, toss the problem around, see if I could make it into something new, something rewarding, a karmic challenge, an blessing disguised as an issue.

Yesterday I said...

No its an ugly bone, I have tasted and tested it, there is no meat, no nourishment for me. I am not the happy dog chewing on that bone and I don't want to soon behave like the dog that's poorly fed unsatisfied and mean.

So I simply said...yes after anguish and much self flagellation I said no more to that bone and I gave up. Looking myself squarely in the eye...I hee hawed loudly, barked, waged every imaginable tail and...

 I said no more, I said that's not for me!

::: THE CULT OF PERSONALITY - BE YOUR BRAND :::

Cicciolina Porn Star to Italian Political Party

The Cult of Personality...

Q:What do you do with a personality that's larger than life? A:Make it a cult.

Personalty...
Some personalities just are.
They are not refined of honed they exist. They may pre exist in some raw form early on and then develop into something more intense and consistent becoming more like a brand.

Nicki Minaj
Lady Gaga
Madonna
Cicciolina
Forest Gump - he had one.

The Kennedys
Frank Sinatra
Mick Jagger and his swagger
Justin Beiber - I have seen no evidence of it yet...but I hear he can sing.

Amy Winehouse
Janice Joplin

You need personality to rock this at 60+!

Karl Largerfeild

Big fat flying looping swooping buzzing pervasive personalities that fill up a room. Their own self, in essence their brand - BOOM! The individuals energy fills every crevice of the room every atom of some brains, people want it like it, emulate and loathe it. The populous pay homage to it, the -insert name here- brand whips itself into a potent froth. Its interesting isn't it the power and cult of personality it resonates around us on so many levels.

SO where does it all begin?

I believe its innate - god given. Intrinsic. There since childhood which none of us get to escape.

Like a smack of intense weather the brand of cult personality can colour your world. The public likes to identify with, attach themselves and align their life with the personality brand a la 'Leave Brittany Alone' clip. She aches I ache. Her success is my success. Her pain is my pain "Oh lets all have a come back tour"

A positioning statement is esoterically attained.

Think Elvis Presley. His brand and cult are posthumously maintained personally by the masses and by the media. His name contains a unique yet consistent frame of reference for everyone familiar with his brand and name.
In this clip personality and charisma ooze all over us and is impossible to resist.

Micheal Jackson the brand will live forever due to the personality and talent he had.


Marketing is a strange phenomenon and what sells and works can be irrefutably absurd. Take a hefty blokey man put him in blue sequins and get him to sing Disco and you have a classic number one hit single by none other than DIVINE. Sheer force of personality and correct timing = universally popular. It sells with conviction.


Wear your brand

your personality

your integrity and your power well

do not abuse inflict or embellish it

just be it.

Be a little Cicciolina, Karl, Divine, Elvis and carve out your own unique life.

Just be you while you do your stuff.

::: Huon Me and a Cradle Makes Three :::

So the 2nd half of the Tasmania stay...

I am no nature freak - but I do regard animals and nature as having more rights than us mere humans. We continue to stuff things up, destroy, pillage and descimate, I respect nature but thought I was far from the outdoorsy type.

I had been told Cradle Mountain was quite beautiful and saw an image of a friend high in the trees enjoying an 'airwalk' and thought I'd like to try that.

Bumbled around online and fluked out big time!
Lets start with the Lodge. Chevy Chase himself could have had an American Vacation in this one was the A-typical uber lodge. Heaven kitsch yet modern enough, seriously I was going to don walking shoes like giant tennis racquets and don a fur hat.

The lodge was timber goodness surrounded by blissful nature and a beautiful array of small animals flittered about almost on cue. It was the Truman Show in Oz. I ate breakfast while watching a Platypus flit and start breaking the mirror like finish of the pond it lives in. Shy wombats waited like fat old men, gentile and timorous almost polite deciding who should cross the path first he or I.

I immediately fell in love.

This was behind the cabin...
Beyond beautiful.
This image was taken near Cradle mountain just phenomenal. These are test shots for a later shoot.

 

I am so happy with these next images that reflect the changing light as I approached Cradle Mountain and the lodge, I stopped and snapped them from the side of the road and caught all of this within 5 minutes! Light was fading and changing like I'd never seen before.

Spent a mid morning discovering the Huon River which is closer to Hobart - a bewilderment of astonishing beauty. Drove along a road practically being licked by the Huon river an incredible experience. The fog was so dense at midday you could barely make out the water in this image, it later lifted to the clearest day.

I want to go back and experience the place in every season. 

Tasmania huh who knew!

GOD BLESS THE GREENIES WHO SAVED THIS IDYLLIC PLACE!

Who and What are You Entertaining?

Aligning yourself with a mentality is a badge you wear.

A drinker.
A smoker.
A gambler - usually denied and expressed as a 'like'.
Obesity.
Control.
Self denial.
Self punishment.
Bullying.
Victim mentallity.
Superiority.
Toughness.
Weakness.
Self help zealot.
Religious self righteousness.
Overly critical of self or others.

We are all human. Sometimes our flaws are least obvious to ourselves. I do not expect perfection to be embodied by any human being and I do accept foibles and self expression - I find idiosyncratic character traits endearing and fascinating.

I am not niave and have seen enough to understand human nature good and bad. I know that good and bad may co exist in society, there are carers, nurturers, destroyers and killers.

What I fail to understand at present is societys glorification and on going romance with the murderers and brutal thugs of this town. Why exult hitmen and known crimminals? Why produce series after series generational timelines and heiracy and feed it to the hungry public?

Is there not something more intelligible to tell about Melbournes history? Intimidation and injustice, murder, voilence and greed, hitmen and victims to me are not glorious tales to tell. These characters are not to be revered or acknowledged.

Why not instead look to the admirable and honorable tales. Truth is indeed more interesting than fiction. What about inner battles faced by the people that wanted and tried to do good in their lives? What about the benevolent altruistic acts? They are barely and rarely agnowledged.

http://www.benquilty.com/

Do not glorify and kneel at the feet of thugs via the media. It purpetuates the mentality. They were and are bad people with pernicious and malevolent natures that seek out the opportunity to rob, murder and steal. It is not fiction - it is not far from you. Glorification of idiocy is dangerous. From redicious footage of culpable driving and hold ups to re inacting real life slayings is giving validation and media time to the detrimental elements of life...the bad seeds. Water them and they will proliferate and grow.

Bob and John - not thugs!

Where is the regocnition of the pillars and exemplary elements of our society?

I can accept that we may all be weak, strong, human and flawed - no one is perfect but please remove these morons from my sight.

Its something I have experienced...

and abhor.

WHEN YOU OPEN THE DOOR TO GOD...DOES THE DEVIL SNEAK IN TOO?

Did you grow up with religion?

Did you 'practice'

follow,

Give yourself over,

have faith,

belong?

I grew up blissfully unaware of religion. Blissfully.

So what does that mean? It meant as a small child and throughout my formative years I was my guide. Myself alone. I knew right from wrong, avoided 'evil' or bad, gravitated towards the good and the 'pure' and was content and happy.

I had a great innate moral compass working for me, it was borne of innocence and hope and my hopes were of beauty, peace and harmony as I would imagine most children's wishes might be.

At primary (grade) school there were children with their crucifix's hanging around their necks, girls wearing earrings that were gifts from their confirmation - to me they were odd statements the value did not translate. I wore on trend 70's Avon jewelery and I thought it was the Harry Winston of the day. I did not judge  as it had never occurred to me to do so.

 As I grew older I caught the disparaging cold glare as children my age recoiled from me when they learned I had no religion to claim.  Were they visualizing my poor barren heathen soul writhing in purgatory for eternity? They flinched as if I had told them I had just played with black plague infested rats and offered my hand.

We had just finished playing 'Charlies Angles' in the play ground I didn't understand how one query might alter things so much. It seemed that any religion was better than no religion. Agnostic, atheist and gnostic had never entered my virgin ears I had nothing to hang my hat on and was light and free. I did not understand there intense vibes of doom.

I grew up north of Melbourne in a very ethno centric area full of migrants. Coptic, Orthodox, Catholic, Anglican, Baptist, Seventh day Adventist, Muslim, it was a fairly kaleidoscopic mix dominated by Greek Orthodox and Italian and 'Australian' Catholics. There was no normal, no dominant pervasive belief.

The local kids joked and often used the phrase 'spot the aussie'. We all mingled and learned catch phrases in languages from Macedonian to Maltese. For me there were no barriers. Naivety is a blessing indeed.

My family life was I suppose very liberal and like a hippy ideal with enough tradition to keep the large family machine well oiled.

Until...

on a very non eventful day my brother and I sat in the kitchen and the discussion began. I asked my mother why was everyone else - my other three siblings baptized and my brother and I were not?

What happened?

The reply was an honest one about the internal battle within a marriage Church of England vs Irish Catholic (from parents whose parents were born here - generations of Australians), my mothers oppressive teaching at the hands of sadistic Nuns doling out corporal punishment at whim, the argument ran the full gamut, from the beauty of the full Latin Mass to the hypocrisy and heightened spiritual experience.

As I recall I was about 11 years of age. My questions were very basic. What does this mean? What if I am not baptized what if I am, why should I etc. Then came a very clear and singular message...perhaps it was my filter but it was very plain.

You invite God - love and acceptance, comfort and guidance...
but beware
with God there is perceived sin and if you sin there is punishment.
So what does this mean?

It means you are no longer free and pure - you will be judged.

I wanted to embrace it, I wanted god to take my hand but just as the door opened there came with the concept of a god was 'wrong doing', was pain, was judgment and the concept of hell. As a child why should I be threatened with hell? It struck me as terrifyingly harsh.

My brother till this day is fascinated and studies various religions, we are both very open.

Ninety percent if not more of people I know brought up with religion either reject it or talk about the guilt, the inner conflict, the fear of not wanting to displease their church or god, the burden of the guilt, the confusion.

The times I have 'missed' religion in my life have been during times of deep emotional crisis, a death, many deaths over years, personal challenges, and the odd monumental test. At those times I was aware that a sense of belonging a scripture and tradition to follow was lacking. But despite my godforsaken soul I have come through, I have had enough within me to steer me through - there were and are things I instinctively knew.

I have values and beliefs that I am proud of they are borne of me not doctrine. Do not pity me do not judge me.

Acceptance unites

Confirming Your Reality

I have been thinking...



you gather people around you to confirm your version of reality.

Some people I know chose their family to do this with - they surround themselves with family as their vision and values are aligned with their own. Their reference points and perspective are similar enough to breed healthy relationships within those parameters.

Then there are friends and associates we may chose to mesh with and they can exist on may levels these days. Online, work colleague, someone you might follow - their career or work, what ever it may be the viewpoint they have may correspond more closely to your own than your god given associates.

Growing up in a place that doesn't offer you enough is a challenge, you can make it work, you can get past it but it takes resilience and true resourcefulness. You pull it up from your insides. You create it.

I have two children I have given birth to and it still truly astounds me that with some help I made the bones, hair, teeth, skin tissue, the gums and eyes they have. Seriously its perplexing.

Surviving a place or mindset where you cannot thrive takes a more spiritual intellectual version of that. I do believe some elements are the same, you manifest matter and hope from the aether, internal development happens despite the baron array.  Character is forged most of it unseen. 

So...

as I said,

you gather people around you to confirm your version of reality.

Or put another way is 'Show me your friends and I will show you who you are'

My friends and the people I chose to affiliate myself with are perhaps reflections of me, they are people I admire, be they flawed or not, be they popular or not, be they perceived as the norm or not.

I have few friends, I truly love my friends - and my family I might say.

My family confirms what created me.

My kind beautiful optimistic helpful divine friends, my slightly dysfunctional very human lovable friends, my serious and light hearted, my impossibly talented, funny, clever friends, my spiritual and grounded, my old and my new friends, my close and my far.

They confirm my version of reality.

My friends my family I love them all,

and I continue on...

and look for more reality to confirm.

A Comment from the incredible Architect Frank Gehry.