::: EVERYBODY WANTS TO FEEL IT :::

Everybody wants to feel...

pretty basic statement.

Sure we all know it is truth but feel - feel what exactly?

Sometimes we think we know what we want to feel and how to get that for ourselves but when it sneaks up on us and hits the spot - Amen! Strange creatures humans all wanting to deny the fact that we are indeed cliches. Self aware bots wearing our emotional amour we savvy our way through each day.

Right now as I type some music has started playing that's perfectly bluesy and the sky is grey as the sun sets on this cold Melbourne day, it feels perfect! Yes its one of those exact moments. So I am a cliche but god it feels good.

Meeting people that connect and feel with us is magical. Sharing an interest or taste, music, food some idiotic and obscure 'like' that you may have is so rewarding. I have friends and family that share a rapport that can fundamentally 'put me back together'. Its not that I am emotionally unfolding at every turn but sometimes its like an itch that requires attention. Someone to make you laugh or say that it is okay. Its that someone or thing that re assembles the misaligned within. That said it can also be a song, a place, a type of weather, a hug, a smell, an image, an event we experience and its all okay again. We let our guard down remove our cynical filters and feel good again! We are moved, it strikes a chord and we relax and let something good in.

Tarred With the Same Brush

Nature too does a stellar job at it.
For me the best time to run is when the weather is about to turn, the wind is squally the sky is threatening. For some reason I find it exhilarating, some light rain on the face the bracing cold, trying to outrun the down pour. Then getting in to feel safe and warm sheltered from the storm or rain when it hits is something I love to feel.

Artists make us feel. Putting their grey matter out there on the line their emotions and selves its all laid bare. There is a bravery that creative people exhibit that is truly unique. Many a brilliant talent is never shared due to a type of cowardice or humility. No one welcomes a cutting comment or judgment but trying to avoid it by playing small just sells us all short.

To stick your neck out and expose a part of your brain leaves one wide open for all manner of onslaught. I am a hideously sensitive person - idiotically so. While I continue to work on that flaw I leave myself wide open by putting my personal work out there flaws and all. So when I see anothers work that resonates deep within me I appreciate the emotional risk and vulnerability involved.

Feelings and what triggers them is purely subjective as is the experience of categorising them. I have had moments of exquisite pain (although I am also trying to eliminate that too), embraced angst and willingly let myself be immersed in the misery of a song for instance. I call that doing a sad.

Massive Sad

Finding a vehicle that can exult us, make us cry tears of gratitude, sing, dance, stun, arrest is what I want to feel. There is nothing like that genuine core feeling, often it is a reaction.

So I want to recognise and thank the songwriters, composers and musicians that make my innards reel, the photographers, artists and film makers, comedians, actors, performers that have helped define my take on life, the designers of this world, the architects, the fashion designers, those that design, the animators, the speakers and the writers, the people that live with attitude and to those brave people that wear their heart on their sleeve...

Thank you for your bravery. Thank you for the reveal. Thank you for letting me feel. Thank you for putting me back together.

::: SMALL OR TALL & THE ANGRY MAMMOTHS :::

Tall or small...

how are you going to play it.

Who are you playing it for?
People often project their own ideas of who you are to them using their own set of references of how you ideally relate to them, and it can stifle.

Sometimes people expect more of you, less of you...but its how you see yourself that matters.

I have touched on the truth jealously contains in a previous post and I believe it shows you what you might really want.

Anger on the other hand I believe shows you what you DO NOT WANT.

Anger is not a good energy and not one I want to cultivate but it has risen within me to boiling point recently. Its horrible its on me, around me, festering and I want to shake it off.

Now I must say that I am glad I am not a compulsive or self destructive person or I might be devouring entire chocolate cakes, cleaning compulsively, smoking, drinking or gambling - perhaps all of them at one time. It is possible if you think about it.

So what can one do with this pernicious force that sucks the energy from you as it courses through your entire being. Ugh! I usually try to acknowledge what it is what the root cause is. I try not to inflict it on others although my happy go lucky positive persona suffers and its me suffering deep down in here. So what do you do with it? Mammoth Anger.

Anger is a rejection of the current status, its not how you want to see things or have things go. Small and large things and factors play into this, life changing and trivial. Sickness, poor health, expectations not being met, rejection, disappointment, hurt...stuff we...no one wants. The picture clashes with our perception, its not turning out right, its all wrong, the result, anger! Sometimes sadness or withdrawal can be a result but if its aggravating you or short changing you enough it manifests as anger!

So we are now wresting and in the grip of an uncomfortable partner. If only we could disconnect and walk away from it. Sometimes with grace and acceptance we can but if it makes you really angry it requires change.

ANGER can be extinguished by CHANGE.

Change what it is you are angry about, change the dynamic, change the image, keep at it till its closer to what you WANT. Hack at it, tweek it, work at it, refine it, give it consistent attention till you can turn it around or at least live without the negative effect of anger.

Perhaps things change against our will... then your only option is to keep making more change - till you are happy with the outcome. Sometimes the change is mammoth - what is a mammoth but a collection of minuscule molecules? Break it down!

I have been chipping away at my own mammoth trying to break it all down, shift what I don't want to get it to resemble what I do want. For many many many years some of us choose to play small, or meek, the eunuch, the guileless, the giving, the sacrificial, the scaffold for others lives. We invest and expect returns be they emotional, financial or the most valuable the time we can never reclaim.

Anger is your enemy but like many negatives it can be turned around and can become also be a most powerful motivator. Like many things we don't want, it just depends on what you do with it. 

Anger requires change to shift it. Change often presents FEAR.

What do we do with fear? Do we play small, that's one way to deal with it and I dare say its the most popular choice made in reaction to fear by far. Or we can stand tall and push the fear away. WE can overcome the boundaries and barriers placed by ourselves to suit others and break free. Those who love you will continue to love you and with authenticity and action you may find a greater you. A you that's much easier to love, that is more loving and open.

'All of Me' by Lisadee

So go ahead stand tall! Be who and what you are be the best you. Go for what you want and desire in life, there will be challenges that's guaranteed, but keep chunking, keep breaking the Mammoth down. Surely we can move a Mammoth bit by bit, bone by bone, we might have to develop skills and be inventive, perhaps separate the hair, the bone, the tusks. Face all that nasty stuff. We can always wash our hands afterward anyway.

I have dealt with a few Mammoths they come in all sorts of guises they tend to get in your way - annoying buggers they are. You can walk around them in hallways have them in your car as you drive but there is only way to get it out of the way...break it down and move it!

Untitled by Lisadee

Once you know whats really annoying you - the cause of your anger you can stop being small and decide to dismantle the beast, its not easy but I will tell you from experience its easier to live with yourself once you decide to start rather than the prospect of squirming indefinitely. They are your options - you choose.

Break the process down, just start.

Then dust yourself off, wash your hands, you will have a lot more space and new cleared energy...
and then and only then can you stand TALL.

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

by Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

 

::: WHAT BRAND IS YOUR CHILD? :::

Children are now being named after brands...

Chanel, Armani, Prada and Gucci to name a few! 

My child is named after a brand...what does that mean?!

Children are so brand saturated by the time they enter school it is ridiculous - is your child (niece, nephew, stepchild, godchild, friends child) a brand? What brand are they?

You are a constant model to children you spend time with in every way. Your actions speak far louder than words.

If you have children in your life what values are you passing onto them, they don't necessarily need to be your own children.

What are you demonstrating to them?

What do you value?

What values to you propose?

Do you demonstrate self worth and integrity in your decision making and lifestyle or are you impressing upon them the importance of branding and consumerism? Are you creating a misplaced emotional hunger falsely sated by shop shop shopping?

Do you tell them jewellery has value and status and then show the child's lack of value by not investing time with them?

Is your love expressed monetarily or organically?

This ain't no happy child.

Are you to busy to nurture any child even if not your own? Those children might require higher levels of attention as basic emotional needs are not being met. The child has instinctual needs, core needs at all stages of their life - into early adulthood too.

We all need to be listened to, nurtured, loved unconditionally and accepted particularly as a child/young adult. I believe many an unhappy teenager might just needs a little more time and love from the people around them - not things.

I have tried to raise my children and install in the many children around me human kindness, integrity, dignity and the love we all deserve... and it is free.

Some time and energy is all that is required and it comes back 10 fold, not a bad return for the outlay.

At the end of the day they will value a meaningful talk or hug, an silly moment, a belly laugh, the best meal, a kindness expressed. Not the amount of money or status - sure its all nice but if the rest is missing its worth nothing.

Children try and test us at every turn, but we are here to help them on their journey. We have had our turn as children and while I may have been lucky enough to have grown up without need or want, the toys, jewellery or holidays are not the things I recall with warmth - the brands and expense hold no value now.

I recall so many simple things warmly that did not cost a cent. I don't want to install brand loyalty, pretentiousness and preciousness.

I want and hope to raise and affect the children around me in a way that lets them know that I love them for who they are for what they naturally are unconditionally not what they commercially consume or what brand name they may sport or wear.

My sons.

I want them to understand they alone are enough and are priceless as individuals and human beings.

::: FANTASTIC FUTURISTIC FASHION! :::

Must have been a 1960's lag into the 1970's but I recall images like these VIVIDLY!

I recall thinking for sure that's what I would grow up and be wearing.

Pierre Cardin

 

Pucci designed this bubble helmet to protect the Air Stewardess' hair do - they were phased out. Such a shame.

 

 

 Children sported a semi futuristic trend too. Is she not divine? Mum/Mom could rock a frock like this...all sorted!

 

Sophisticated NY types wore this get up to work - in my nubile body and brain I had it all sorted. Yep that was the future, my interest in fashion it seemed had already formed.

Everything would be made of perspex - a truelove of mine! 

Of course families would wear the following I do like the silver outdoor wear insulation and style de jour!

We would groove to funky trax...

MOOG!

MODERN MOOG!

Please ignore the graphic but do listen!

Lifts the spirit doesn't it?

Even cartoons confirmed this expectation of the Futuristic Future. I particularly loved the exhaust rings and the sound of the spaceships it was something that truly fascinated me.

Now while I would love to don this outfit for today I shall refrain in my head however I have definitely got this on while listening to Jean Michel Jarre'.

More fabulous images here

Pierre Cardin

Emilio Pucci

Paco Rabane

Mary Quant

One day I shall have a house that reflects this passion - even if I just line the entire thing in Aluminum foil and wear plastic...sounds like a photo shoot might cure me...flash lights and cellophane. Better get busy and put on something sensible.

 

ROCK'N RETRO ROOF RACKS & LITTLE ORGANS

Okay so I like to think I am not an A type personality and that I don't  suffer an addiction affliction. In states of self maudlin indulgence I have even tried to be an addicted tragic...

the sad / glad news is I am far to practical for all that. My system and mind set is far to sensitive and rational, a drunken poet I shall never be, my house will never be in shambles while my mind is exulted and smashed against the rocks of pure creativity. Nor am I controlling and uptight.

But every now and then I become fixated my little band of focus locks on and my laser light is unable to shift. Recently it was in relation to 'Chord Organs' oh bless the day I stumbled across one, I was looking at Lincoln Continental cars and wallop what hits me right between the eyes?

Add caption

 My heart skipped a beat...

Elegant anodized golden atomic legs, beautiful ivory and black faux leather carry case, the lid is removable, it has tiny brass hinges and latches and it sounds a lot like a Piano Accordion.

I had to jump through some hoops to get it but now this baby is mine. Its tiny, my giraffe like legs don't actually tuck underneath the height of the organ. Also I have another beauty coming from the USA a tiny table top organ, I cant wait to compare the sounds.

How does this relate to addiction and compulsion? Well like I said I don't think I suffer from addiction but I was fixated on this specific organ and was not satisfied till I owned this specific one - luck had something to do with it too.

I get these queer fixations they take over my brain its all I see. For a while it was roof racks! 

Seriously its hilarious what people want to strap to the roof of their car, some are like giant iron bed frames adorning some old clapped out car that is no doubt the workhorse of cars, others are sleek and modern and some are factory fitted and are fascinating on vintage wagons and mid size cars. If you open your eyes there is a world on top of cars out there.



Soon I will have a new addiction - ahem I mean focus, I try not to entertain the new fixation till I can actually allocate the time to it. I cant wait... it will be learning how to play the organs not buy roof racks.

MEN WHO DANCE LIKE FRENZIED ANIMALS

Ok its not often that I get primal but these guys obviously do.

Tom Jones makes love to everyone in the studio in this clip - why he even forgets to sing. He is throwing his manhood around filling every corner of the room. Wow!



SO as for clothing Mr Sammy Davis Jnr wins hands down for the zip alone in this number! The ladies and in particular the woman on the left of screen goes almost Emu like crazy - keep your eyes peeled for the close up of the midriffs!

Gotta love a midget like black dude with a 'tude' like that!



Pure sex - I didn't say it was great sex. Visceral grunt with flair!

For ladies with no rhythm you can give this a whirl!

Next time I am on a dance floor I am going to sport these moves - watch for Time mark 1.30 - 1.35 ;)



Its Monday go have some fun!

The inspiring Tony Robbins

>>> The Pain Growth Resistance Game <<<

I have recently spent some time reacquainting myself with some self help guru's...

stick with me.

It is interesting how life can knock you off course. For myself I had a firm instinctual vision of what I was going to achieve and the arrogance of youth (which is to be cherished) I had an unshakable belief in what I was going to achieve. It was so certain so determined in my life path that there was no question - it just had not occurred yet.

25 years later...

I am closer than I have ever been to achieving that than ever but the path I took was unforeseen and was incredibly difficult terrain. My limits were tested on every level in regards to resourcefulness. Every level. The path was convoluted and enjoyable but lead me far off course and very far from my initial goals, strangely enough however after a very turbulent period I have washed up on a shore in the place I have always wanted to be.

Now my wee brain has to catch up.

Sometimes we are 'fitter while in the fight' another term I have coined. We are on guard, at the ready, defences up, alert, hyper vigilant and not missing a thing. All our senses are engaged.

Whether the battle be a personal, professional, financial, physical, emotional, psychological one - it usually is never a solo one usually they are at least paired the battle itself for the most part exists inside.

Sometimes the battle goes on so long that once we have left that place our emotions or state want to wrestle us back inside the not so great trenches. The battle ceases to be one created from external forces and it becomes one we must firmly decide. Through habit the mind wants to be back in the trenches - what a waste of time.

Some people seek the same issue out so they never have to put the 'rock of pain' down, they just change rocks...the same experience in a different guise. Self sabotage and repetitious self flagellation - a comfortable or at least familiar 'head fellow'.

Speaking of 'head fellow' - yes another of mine, it is the same as bed fellow, who you chose to lay down with at night and wake up with is always the mind. Your head fellow can be your best friend love and nurture you or berate and second guess you. So I ask you what head fellow would you willingly befriend if you met them? Who would you make your friend? The one that wants to drag you into a mental trench or the one that reminds you to watch your step keep away from the muddy rut?

Honestly if I could book into a clinic or hospital for a day procedure to rid me of any negative thought or habit I would - I imagine it as small as a pea. Tell the doctor to whip it out!

Like I said I am so close to my dream there is no point in engaging the negative but occasionally it comes back. So why would an intelligent person find it so difficult to put the Pain rock down, cut out the black misery pea? Mind you some people have misery rocks and they make love to them they carress and entertain them, they cant live without them and as silly as it may sound some people just cant expel that 10mm misery pea - WHY?

Simple they need to make friends with their head fellow and the person you cant avoid yourself.

I never saw myself as a loser or a person who does ill towards other nor do I consider myself selfish, I am altruistic and kind. I am a giver, a lover, a nurturer, creative. I am expressive, resourceful and at times after my long convoluted journey recall in my mind that arrogance of youth and am just as certain that I am making it happen.

Sometimes the pain before the break through - before we give up on treating ourselves badly can be excruitiating before we can 'put it down' and move on, we are afraid there is a reluctance and fear - what will you hold on to if you place the pain down and walk away, what if you give up wrestling with yourself, what then?

You HAVE to face yourself - but you just might like what you see.

Tony Robbins on Google +
This is quite a long clip and examines why it was hard for these individuals to cut out the peas, put down the rocks and some were phenomenally substantial and deal with the pain associated with growth.