Change in adulthood...I always touted myself or thought as myself as an individual who embraced and welcomed change, and for the most part I have even when the cards did not play out as anticipated I brightly took on what I was dealt good bad or indifferent. Now people I am by no ways a fatalist I am definitely a determinist which leads me to the resistance I am feeling in changing at present, or dually present frustration at not changing fast enough.
Being aware of change, initiating it, pushing for it is all fine and good but sometimes life and our brains are resistant - thus the rub...a comfortable rut.
Feeling short changed : That discomfort the grit, either it gets the better of you or you use it for impetus to change. I have personally witnessed individuals that have let a knock back or knock on their tail mar them permanently. 'It was all good till'...'If only it had have gone my way'...etc. Just as I have known persons with mammoth burdens and life challenges to have great bright spirits and get on all the same. So what about us mere mortals with only the self to instigate the change either we get comfortable in the discomfort and have an unhealthy relationship with the resentment it builds within or we action the desired change. Behavior is so clear and easy to speak of until the heart and mind meet bringing us to emotion.
Well I have certainly had enough 'rub and grit' to require change so I will continue to embrace change and sometimes have to accept its sluggish rate.
This portrait of me taken by a talented friend - its more about reach, the pose, the tentative balance, the metal stretch. Perhaps this is required so we do not short change ourselves.
I will bend over backwards for myself like I used to for others and I will make the changes for me...so I can better embrace life. Amen.