Unlikely Vintage Inspirations that are Completely Queer

I love a bit of vulgar culture. Fashion offers up a plethora of fodder especially during those most perplexing of decades of the 60's and 70's. Recently I was discussing the true hideousness of some of the television at that time. The recollections of truly questionable character portrayals and fabrics that were as confronting as the sideburns presented.

The worst offenders were the British - UK TV. 

Are You Being Served?

Now I do not mean to be unkind but what was the casting brief here?

Ever questionable physical comedy. 

Resulting in cringe worthy intimacy leaving you reeling and queasy not unlike car sickness. 

The Stoic and the Flamboyant counterbalance apparently resulting in hilarity.

Now I don't know what happened in my head as a small child taking this all in but somewhere amongst the mix of abrasive voices and the bad comedic premise I fell in love. I turned...

To this day I love this look above.

Something about her powdered look, his true degree of maturity and dapper refinement and most of all the fabrics and the past its use by date of early 1960's fashion being worn on and on. Perhaps that is the reason I collect nasty nylon night wear that I am sure that Mrs S could have swanned about in. Oh the harsh nylon goodness, the smell and look of the old 'Taft' hairspray, talcum powder and face compact heavily layered, lavender eyeshadow and pastel pink lips. 

Or as I like to call it...

Old lady Grunt.

This image is such a great exponent of what I am on about. Besides the almost Groucho like face on the dark haired man these folks are totally and completely rocking it. 

With an attitude adjustment these people could be positively sexy. 

The foxy redhead wins hands down to me...Go Mrs Slocombe!

Wikipedia...

During its run, the series attracted some mild criticism for its reliance on sexual stereotypes and double entendres, including jokes about Mrs. Slocombe's "pussy" (cat) e.g., Mrs Slocombe, "Animals are very psychic; the least sign of danger and my pussy's hair stands on end".

Come to think of it you could spell her name in an all together different way...upon reflection perhaps they weren't so clueless.

Vintage Shopping - How to Get it Right!

I have a lot of people say to me...

I love what you are wearing I wish I could get away with it.

So...after a dismiss the notion that the comment could be a dig I thank them.

I shop vintage often and watch people struggle with the entire concept of the vintage shopping experience so I thought I would offer some guidelines.

My top ten hints for getting it right! 

1: It must call you!

You have to be drawn to it either by the colour texture or fabric.  

                                                      
2: Will it fit? 

This is of most importance and I would say you can almost totally ignore size labels. All of the size standards have changed for both local and international manufacturing.

For instance I am roughly an Australian size 10 sometimes a size 8 fit in the current sizing standard but have found that with older garments a size 14 will just fit. Vintage UK sizing are usually pretty correct and are often gauged by the bust size so I can buy a vintage pattern or garment in a size 32" or 34" and it will fit. Waist for UK sizes are usually pretty accurate but are often are tailored with corsetry in mind so depending on the era the garments may have tiny waists and womanly hips within the design. On this point you can check seam allowances to allow for alterations. Measure your self before you go, write it down if need be.

3: DO NOT damage the garment.  

This garment has survived, if it doesn't fit don't force it. Be gentle ask for assistance if necessary. Don't ruin the garment for the next person.

4: Allow a lot more time for the shopping experience. 

We are not talking off the rack these are rare items, take your time you will find your fit.

5: Do not butcher the fit! 

If it is a beautiful A line 60's frock don't think it will transform into a fitted dress well. The entire pattern construction is engineered for it to fit a certain way - some tweaks are very do able but silhouette is usually much harder to redefine...sometimes it is better not to try it will only look wrong.

I took this in just under the arms at the side seams and complied with the original design lines as the garment was intended.

The alterations are invisible - see the side seam and the accesories teamed
with the dress are sympathetic to the era.

6: Many vintage garments are home made by individuals - like back in the day. 

Watch for height issues. I just had the experience of finding an ideal shirt that I almost purchased without trying on. When I did pop it on I found the darts were way to high and this threw the entire look out of whack - an awkward fit makes the entire vintage thing look wrong. The garment was made for a very short person and on me the fit was not at all convincing. It has to look like YOU own it.

7: Is it too costumey? 

I often find that I love the loudest most ridiculous items - they attract me - see my first point above. 

Clearly I am too busy talking here but what I am trying to say is this original late 60's early 70's Maxi looked far too costume before I shortened the hemline - any shorter however and it would revert to costume again.

8: Re think it! 

Okay what if it is too costumey but you must have it? Play everything else down while you wear it. Tone down the shoes and other items while being sympathetic to the look. See above.

9: Ask the shop assistant / store owner for assistance. 

They are working in the niche because they love it and a passionate person will be more than happy to help out.

10: Launder it well - you have worked hard to own your gem now take care of it. 

Mend where and when required, pop some new buttons on if you need to. Take your belts and bags to be cared for by experts, jackets can be relined, repaired and renewed by dry cleaning care.

*More tips soon on where to find the best items very soon so you might want to subscribe - meanwhile...to thine garments be kind.

Lisa has spoken x.

Shhh a little more here...

Exposing Yourself is it a Good Idea?

Exposing what?

I have intimacy issues...

and no confidence.

I think I am transparent, to the world it might appear I am transparent - I try to project that. Cleverness and a true sense of 'togetherness' like I have my shite together, but sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I am sure I cause confusion to others. All warm and embracing, heart on my sleeve, bold brave self effacing - sometimes a little nude to express that. Painfully shy me. Loud extrovert boisterous me - I am bold brash and open. Attracted to people with open loving hearts and minds, I admire them because I am a bit of a coward.

I apologise for everything.

Sometimes I hate myself for everything.

I hide.

Either I yell jump up and down and scream LOOK AT ME...or I hide. I retract I brood I pick at my feathers like a dysfunctional bird in a cage, till I am repulsive and repugnant. It never lasts long thank god or my brain, my disposition, I don't like the misery or the failure it is unattractive to me, it is not who I am.

There is a need to make amends but then where do I land?

On unfamiliar ground on a strange land. Will I like it?

Why am I terrified to appear as beautiful? I am not remarkable - so I want to dumb it down, I don't want to let anyone down, what if I meet you and I am only me? My age, my stage, in this skin, with these contents in my head, within in my heart, what I can offer you? What if its not enough?

I have a slew of incredible photo's my partner has taken - he has exulted and perfected me. Is exposing myself a good idea I am only just me?



Life is short...

Why I LOVE Larry David

Why I LOVE Larry David and want to write for him.

He says everything I am afraid to say...

but lately everything is threatening to burst from my lips. Stemming the flow is becoming harder than not.

I am getting a Larry David note book and I am going to work it.

The things I want to say are sometimes filthy, offensive but I think very funny. In the last month I have had three different people who know me in varying degrees state that my only choice is to be a stand up comic. I am not that brave I would have to hide behind characters. Characters that are real to me have grown in their dimensions, they are very real distinct human beings the thing they have in common is that that operate as if they are unaware they are not self conscious and don't over think things.The distinct characters have one theme - they bumble their way through life unaware and unaffected by what they experience and it is the way they experience.

Which is in direct contrast to myself. These characters live apologetically and free, I am so jealous of these fools ferociously so. Perhaps that what drives me.

I love Larry David for his themes of incest, boys penis size and vagina size. I love his petty frustration and his true loathing for the human race and its pissy postulating - see The Interior Decorator, I am convinced this is based on a woman I have encountered personally.

Incest hilarity - you can start hating me now.

From Palestinian Chicken another favorite

Usually and its a rule I pride myself on the if you don't have anything pleasant to say don't say anything at all. Live and let live, let people behave like assholes who I am I to judge? I see myself as an elegant human being.

But its taking over and I afraid I will descend into a type of madness if I go there - or sheer delirious abandoned happiness. The other thing I fear is the hate others might feel toward me, but in my mid forties the time is running out at present I think I can fit just one more career in. It is not about fame if I don't get my opinion out soon I will literally die!

People are fucked they are flawed they are unrelenting and insidiously idiotic and it seems to be gaining momentum.

I want a change to pass a piece of paper over - one page with themes or lines my characters say, I know the L man would get it.

I keep contemplating a YouTube channel - with the skits. It takes up a large piece of my brain I mull it over and over but I am afraid and I am quite shy.

The battle can't continue.

It will be interesting to see what wins my fear or the eminent explosion I keep suppressing that threatens to burst from my lips.

I love you Larry David, because of you my expression is not madness nor is it bitterness it is intelligent and quite sane. I am getting so close to it all now...I can use the tools they are no longer offensive they are my cashe, thank you Larry.

I am going to buy a little brown book today.

The reaction to my writing would be just like this resulting in the demand that I become a contributing writer. 

Shopping Vintage ::: The Best of Bad Taste.

I have been shopping vintage since I was about 13 years of age (long long ago). During a high school camp I just had to duck into a thrift shop and buy a 1960's silver necklace...I was ridiculed mercilessly for it.

Morons.

They mocked I very quietly felt smug. I didn't care - they didn't get it and I had a unique piece. I was hooked.

Fabrics prints and cut - I don't care where its from how little or how much it cost if I love it I must have it. I am no designer snob. Sure I understand fine fabric and garment construction but impact for me wins every time!

Years spent trawling through peoples off casts gathering things I just simply adored, whether it was to worn or not has amassed me quite a collection. I may have to cull it soon with a sale but I doubt it, they are irreplaceable. Somethings I buy just because, I have a vulgar collection of hideous 70's kitchenware, a truly beautiful collection of mid century ceramics - not huge but every piece to me divine, fabulous hats mostly 1950's some I have worn but all of these things I am proud to own.

My advice for collecting is...If it makes you smile - get it. If it makes no sense at all but you love it - have it. Life is far too short to edit. Live it, make your heart sing!

Sometimes I get to pull out an item I've never worn but have harbored for years - they are the things that other people comment on and say they wish they could wear. I got this little number recently it was far too short and far too big till I took it in and thought of teaming it with Opaques.

What can I say...Who doesn't want to look like vintage wallpaper?

Another fascination lately has been boxy vans...don't start me. The flatness of the front, the side mirrors are industrial art not design, the trim...garhhhh drool.....

How cool is this ride and how much fun could a night out with the gang be in this machine? 

Get the music thumping...

Anyone interested in a vintage shopping tour? Hmmm...

Some advice before we begin.

A Whole Lot of Mental

Brady Bunch Variety Hour: Disco Medley

Seriously watch the dance moves - its like straight acid 60's style!

Thought for the Day...