There Are So Many Ladies Creating Art These Days!

Craft and Nanna's knitting has been left way behind - well apparently knitting is still in as long as you put the wool in...

Apparently women are just realising they have vagina's and they are a little confused. I thought it was a given that vaginas exist and I thought I knew why...

On to the Art aspect of the V.

Australians are a pretty resourceful lot - imaginative too especially Casey Jenkins. I am not sure where she got the idea that something might jump out of a 'vulva' and eat you up, that 'vulvas' are scary and threatening but apparently this is her way of dealing with those notions.


All whilst menstruating.

Now that might seem hard to top but no lets whack an egg of two up the Vja ja!

Egg Plop this article explains what I can not!

Then there is Millie Brown - The Vomit Artist who was paid to vomit on Lady Ga Ga. 

Strange I have been calling her Lady Gag Gag for ages.

Then you can always paint using your breasts 

At least this is attractive to look at...

I am creating an exhibition myself it is a work in progess and does not utilise any orrifice, wool, milk or eggs.

I am Your Sex Thing

(IYST)

MY Nervous breakdown ::: Featuring a Diet of Constant Shit

My nervous breakdown might come in the form of a stand up routine...

I mean why not?

Normal is neutered - and here is THE question...

Why are we so busy trying to be normal?

Oh my normal is quite extraordinary, quite well formed, quirky and self effacing it is the decade for that isn't it?

The 70's was a time for sexual revolution and role reversal or at least challenging your role as a man or woman - so my nervous break down then (had I been an adult then) might have involved a lesbian phase and a feminist book being published.

 The 80's...hmmm the drugs could have took me but I am not that self destructive so perhaps some in your face 'Vagina Monologue - esque - Fuck You' to the world.

Ladies your va-ja-jay is not that interesting.

The 90's Expressionistic but warm at heart, some giant disturbing art instillation or show? Some bizarre stuff for the sake of being truly ground breaking and avant garde.

The 00's Safe very safe - an ironic poem and some sad faceless dolls - oh yeah I did that, but this below is just as bad...ah the malaise.

The thing is
I am getting over something, processing something.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Psychological Violence.

Crime Scene Investigation

It all sounds good doesn't it? Good if it doesn't apply to you. But when there are files and fall out its shit. It's a buffet of shit. Would you like a shit roll, a shit baguette or a shit croissant with shit sprinkles and a steaming hot turd on the side? Yeah its a bit like that.

I don't take anti depressants oh no no no I am far to good for that, no I am too real. Episodes and snippets of complete denial or at least keeping up appearances is the drug of choice for me. Face full of make up, washed and appearing to be functioning. Even better be creative, funny and popular.

Refusing to curl and wither my firm grip on denial and coping mechanism - humour might just be the thing to bring to the fore.

Fuck it! There is an inner battle, continue to parade the existence or call it.
But I am no Debbie Downer - I dislike them and refuse to be one myself, my creativity and humour has keep the drugs and down fall at bay, perhaps its time I turn it, perhaps the depleting can become the tool to invigorate me.

In an ideal scenario my insecurities fall away, my will to please is put aside, I allow the words and the feeling linked to those feces encrusted experiences to be shared and regale my personal experiences.

The flames, the betrayal, my denial. Ultimately my ability, yes my ability. My ability to laugh at myself to laugh at my flaws, my shortcomings, it's actually not about other parties involved. I do not seek revenge and respect peoples privacy - this is no backlash. This is not bitter or vengeful I have seen expression and comedy like that it is anything but appealing.

As an artist and expressive creative my life and my work have always revealed where I am at.

Perhaps comedy is next...
or I could be come the next Nigella,
stay tuned.

Why I LOVE Larry David

Why I LOVE Larry David and want to write for him.

He says everything I am afraid to say...

but lately everything is threatening to burst from my lips. Stemming the flow is becoming harder than not.

I am getting a Larry David note book and I am going to work it.

The things I want to say are sometimes filthy, offensive but I think very funny. In the last month I have had three different people who know me in varying degrees state that my only choice is to be a stand up comic. I am not that brave I would have to hide behind characters. Characters that are real to me have grown in their dimensions, they are very real distinct human beings the thing they have in common is that that operate as if they are unaware they are not self conscious and don't over think things.The distinct characters have one theme - they bumble their way through life unaware and unaffected by what they experience and it is the way they experience.

Which is in direct contrast to myself. These characters live apologetically and free, I am so jealous of these fools ferociously so. Perhaps that what drives me.

I love Larry David for his themes of incest, boys penis size and vagina size. I love his petty frustration and his true loathing for the human race and its pissy postulating - see The Interior Decorator, I am convinced this is based on a woman I have encountered personally.

Incest hilarity - you can start hating me now.

From Palestinian Chicken another favorite

Usually and its a rule I pride myself on the if you don't have anything pleasant to say don't say anything at all. Live and let live, let people behave like assholes who I am I to judge? I see myself as an elegant human being.

But its taking over and I afraid I will descend into a type of madness if I go there - or sheer delirious abandoned happiness. The other thing I fear is the hate others might feel toward me, but in my mid forties the time is running out at present I think I can fit just one more career in. It is not about fame if I don't get my opinion out soon I will literally die!

People are fucked they are flawed they are unrelenting and insidiously idiotic and it seems to be gaining momentum.

I want a change to pass a piece of paper over - one page with themes or lines my characters say, I know the L man would get it.

I keep contemplating a YouTube channel - with the skits. It takes up a large piece of my brain I mull it over and over but I am afraid and I am quite shy.

The battle can't continue.

It will be interesting to see what wins my fear or the eminent explosion I keep suppressing that threatens to burst from my lips.

I love you Larry David, because of you my expression is not madness nor is it bitterness it is intelligent and quite sane. I am getting so close to it all now...I can use the tools they are no longer offensive they are my cashe, thank you Larry.

I am going to buy a little brown book today.

The reaction to my writing would be just like this resulting in the demand that I become a contributing writer.