I found myself writing this in an email today…
'I will either be Joan of Arc or The Monarch of Moomba.'
Humour is essential, particularly when your character is under fire. Over the past three years I have committed myself, my time, energy and my capacity to a number of volunteer roles, where to my surprise I have quickly risen up the ranks. As voted by peers and mentors. This was never my plan; suddenly I was at the head of the table.
As a creative this was never the planned career path. A volunteer sure – leader - for me it came as a complete surprise. It became apparent that people I admired and respected chose me to lead. Was leadership something I had anticipated or planned for no?
Grateful, bewildered, determined and honoured I took it all on.
It didn't take long for the discord to hit, I was scorned as an inexperienced ‘young’ female actively seeking to stimulate and enhance a static culture. Going very much against the grain disrupting the status quo my appointment was met with both cynicism and support.
Grace under fire is a choice, re activeness and judgment need to be shelved when we are personally and professionally challenged. To be challenged in a voluntary role came as a real surprise to me, particularly when it became escalated and at times personal. I must admit there was some hurt and confusion on my behalf.
When I stood back I realised that I as challenging an ingrained culture and I was perhaps being judged by my role not my integrity and dedication. We were all fighting the same god fight, but when tempers and nerves are frayed and fear is rife, the pack mentality kicks in.
SO what did I do?
I invested in understanding the experience of the stakeholders involved – large and small. I gave time to the individuals; I listened and considered the competing dynamics. From there I chose to strive for the best possible outcome for all.
It has not been easy there is no financial reward, no accolade, no real recognition pending – I was the person with the cross hairs placed firmly upon my forehead. The journey has been made bearable and at times wonderfully rewarding due to my fellow volunteers beside me, some supporting me some at times rightfully challenging me, contesting my actions and providing me with valuable feedback, which I took on board and learnt from.
It has been a journey of growth.
Now with as many metaphors as I can muster I have sent the work out into the unknown like baby Moses in the reed basket. The joint efforts of a talented team of dedicated selfless professionals is now in the hands of an external party and we await the reply be it positive or negative leaving.
Which brings me back to that email I was composing earlier today regarding the outcome and consequences of the verdict.
I will either be Joan of Arc or The Monarch of Moomba.
Win or lose either way it has been incredible journey, which I am truly grateful for.
I am ready for both the feather boa and the fire.
I with my team have done our very best.
Creatively activating positive culture and cohesion wherever possible. The verdict is yet to be decided by the few then judged by the masses. Wish me the best - me, Molly, Joan and Moses.
In order optimistic, brave and vulnerable, I'll let you know
how we go.
