Saturday, April 27, 2013

Why I LOVE Larry David

Why I LOVE Larry David and want to write for him.

He says everything I am afraid to say...

but lately everything is threatening to burst from my lips. Stemming the flow is becoming harder than not.

I am getting a Larry David note book and I am going to work it.

The things I want to say are sometimes filthy, offensive but I think very funny. In the last month I have had three different people who know me in varying degrees state that my only choice is to be a stand up comic. I am not that brave I would have to hide behind characters. Characters that are real to me have grown in their dimensions, they are very real distinct human beings the thing they have in common is that that operate as if they are unaware they are not self conscious and don't over think things.The distinct characters have one theme - they bumble their way through life unaware and unaffected by what they experience and it is the way they experience.

Which is in direct contrast to myself. These characters live apologetically and free, I am so jealous of these fools ferociously so. Perhaps that what drives me.

I love Larry David for his themes of incest, boys penis size and vagina size. I love his petty frustration and his true loathing for the human race and its pissy postulating - see The Interior Decorator, I am convinced this is based on a woman I have encountered personally.
Incest hilarity - you can start hating me now.

From Palestinian Chicken another favorite

Usually and its a rule I pride myself on the if you don't have anything pleasant to say don't say anything at all. Live and let live, let people behave like assholes who I am I to judge? I see myself as an elegant human being.

But its taking over and I afraid I will descend into a type of madness if I go there - or sheer delirious abandoned happiness. The other thing I fear is the hate others might feel toward me, but in my mid forties the time is running out at present I think I can fit just one more career in. It is not about fame if I don't get my opinion out soon I will literally die!

People are fucked they are flawed they are unrelenting and insidiously idiotic and it seems to be gaining momentum.
I want a change to pass a piece of paper over - one page with themes or lines my characters say, I know the L man would get it.

I keep contemplating a YouTube channel - with the skits. It takes up a large piece of my brain I mull it over and over but I am afraid and I am quite shy.

The battle can't continue.

It will be interesting to see what wins my fear or the eminent explosion I keep suppressing that threatens to burst from my lips.

I love you Larry David, because of you my expression is not madness nor is it bitterness it is intelligent and quite sane. I am getting so close to it all now...I can use the tools they are no longer offensive they are my cashe, thank you Larry.

I am going to buy a little brown book today.

The reaction to my writing would be just like this resulting in the demand that I become a contributing writer. 

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Shopping Vintage ::: The Best of Bad Taste.

I have been shopping vintage since I was about 13 years of age (long long ago). During a high school camp I just had to duck into a thrift shop and buy a 1960's silver necklace...I was ridiculed mercilessly for it.


They mocked I very quietly felt smug. I didn't care - they didn't get it and I had a unique piece. I was hooked.

Fabrics prints and cut - I don't care where its from how little or how much it cost if I love it I must have it. I am no designer snob. Sure I understand fine fabric and garment construction but impact for me wins every time!

Years spent trawling through peoples off casts gathering things I just simply adored, whether it was to worn or not has amassed me quite a collection. I may have to cull it soon with a sale but I doubt it, they are irreplaceable. Somethings I buy just because, I have a vulgar collection of hideous 70's kitchenware, a truly beautiful collection of mid century ceramics - not huge but every piece to me divine, fabulous hats mostly 1950's some I have worn but all of these things I am proud to own.

My advice for collecting is...If it makes you smile - get it. If it makes no sense at all but you love it - have it. Life is far too short to edit. Live it, make your heart sing!

Sometimes I get to pull out an item I've never worn but have harbored for years - they are the things that other people comment on and say they wish they could wear. I got this little number recently it was far too short and far too big till I took it in and thought of teaming it with Opaques.

What can I say...Who doesn't want to look like vintage wallpaper?

Another fascination lately has been boxy vans...don't start me. The flatness of the front, the side mirrors are industrial art not design, the trim...garhhhh drool.....
How cool is this ride and how much fun could a night out with the gang be in this machine? 
Get the music thumping...

Anyone interested in a vintage shopping tour? Hmmm...

Some advice before we begin.