Wednesday, January 30, 2013

What do you want? Glitter and Rainbows all the Time?

Be careful what you wish for - you just might get it!

What a lovely problem that would be I can see bluebirds and ribbon swathes fluttering above my head as I think about it.

Getting what I want - oh the mere suggestion of it. My visions have always been huge and all encompassing and if they - when they occur I am sure there will be a period of adjustment and then on going readjustment.

Often I have been witness to people yearning and indeed getting their needs and wishes fulfilled only then to begin to complain about them once they appear.

People often complain about the best problems don't they?

A challenge, a task, a choice.
Be grateful you are in a position to have great problems. What job to take, what cat or car to buy, when and if to start a family, a relationship, holiday...

As we traipse through the abundance on offer we fail to stop and smell the proverbial.

We all expect to live a charmed existence with the lot: sparkles, enthusiasm, pure enjoyment, total elation in an almost endless supply.

Well life can be like that at times, but I can guarantee not all of the time. In to each life a little rain must fall. Strangely enough the rain can even start to fall at the exact time we get what we wished and longed for.
So while the bluebirds are swirling ribbons above our heads, rainbows are in full splendor and all is fine in the forest, sometimes, sometimes due to timing and life wanting us to see just how lucky we are, sometimes things can also get tough. 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Look you went too far ::: Public Beauty Fails

How do you tell someone?

Look at 60 years of age that face tatt' is just not rockin'.
What do you mean I'll have more birthdays?

Midriff at  work - nah...

I know I dropped my USB...
Diamonte grill on your teeth - dunno. I still have images of James Bond villains reverberating around my head.

The eyelash extensions that look like bike spokes hanging off your eyes - not good.
She has an excuse...
Yeah that 'I just rolled in baby poo' tan - ya' gotta stop it.

Sunday morning at the Supermarket this look just does not translate!
Competeting with the Bimbos are the Himbos...
The ba-jazzle og the fa' jazzle that is your nails - just cut it out.

Ya clanging and banging long giant fake nails with the decals - look they are not your cars duco so maybe you might re think it. Long nail extensions are a neutering just waiting to happen - if I were a guy I would run a thousand miles from anyone sporting these gonad slicing wonders. Besides how close can you get to yourself in terms of personal hygiene - what do you do get a rag on a stick to take care of things?

As for as the vagazzle - if your Cha Cha has got to look like a mirror ball you're doing something wrong. What next doof doof speakers hanging from your ovaries? 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


What a bizarre arrangement of fashion statements the Sharpie and Skinheads subscribed to with no uncertainty. It went something like this...


Doc Martins, Crepe sole shoes, treads and platform shoes either laced or zip up ankle boot style are a statement all of their own; chunky clunky unsightly and mean. Drab colours of black, burgundy, chocolate, ox blood and forest green.

These shoes were made for kicking heads charming.

Skin tight denim jeans or cords, perhaps some pinstripe flares that defy all logic that once started their life out as a 3 piece suit. What side these dudes dressed on was as plain as the nose on their face - so many puns to avoid...
Chest hugging 'Connie' jumpers' and cardigans, tight denim jackets with rounded exaggerated bean shaped collars worn over the obligatory tight basic 't'. Cigarette packets shoved into the tight cap sleeves were also a part of the signature look. Older Skinheads and Sharpies often sported tattoo's which at the time were still a stigma associated with a less than desirable lifestyle and were the realm of ex-con's, sailors and bikers.
Tattoo's of a tear or star on the face were definitive of this tribe, there was nothing soft about it the rougher and tougher the better. Necks emblazoned with a dotted line across them had the words 'cut here' as as instructions. Tattooed knuckles and hands were also very typical. Stud earrings, sleepers or small crucifix's were worn in the ears of the guys and the girls often in multiples.

Heads were shaved clean or clipped very close to the head thus the term Skinhead. Men and women often left the back few centimeters of hair at the back of the head this was the 'Sharpie' hair cut.

A powerful portrayal of the English brand of skinheads, a tough gritty film with exceptional styling.
The Australian version.
(I think he was off to Tullamarine Airport or perhaps Camperdown?)

The fashion was as brutal and ugly as the lifestyle. You did not dare look sideways at anyone that looked like one of these guys or girls, fist fights and brawls were fought by both sexes. As a small child this stuff was a mean and threatening presence and very identifiable. The gangs were predatory and many did eventually find their way to jail or had their lives cut short. I don't romanticise the existence of this brutal sub culture their intent was to intimidate and harass. I prefer to recall the experience of growing up during the last dying years of the Skinheads and the Sharps as a Fashion anomaly - a curiosity. There is a small re emergence of the look embraced by today's youth market. Lets hope they are not as angry, self destructive and violent as the originals.

Take two - the revival of the 1970's look in 2012
A lot softer than the original version the new cross pollination of folk and Sharpie fashion does have its charm.
The brilliant and talented actress and comedian Magda Szubanski has given us much pleasure with her indelible character Michelle of Michelle and Ferret Sharpie the couple as seen in this clip. This 'is' the Skinhead dance. Enjoy and give it a crack - preferably while at a work function.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Whore, the Slut, the Moll and a Feminist Meet.

Words are interesting and often compelling. I have a genuine fascination with language.

I love the cross over and links in language and the true definitions of words. Many these days have become bastardised versions of their former meaning.

bastardisedpast participle, past tense of bas·tard·ize (Verb)

  1. Corrupt or debase (something such as a language or art form).
  2. Declare (someone) illegitimate: "to annul the marriage and bastardize the child".
We have lost the fluency in a lot of our languages and the cross pollination of peoples and their languages often requires the ad libbed short cut or relaxation of formal verbal/written structure. All is forgiven in the name of the cause - swift not exacting communication.

Often I want to use the term retardation in its truest literal form. My definition of the word would be an early cessation of growth or stiffing of development.

retard [rɪˈtɑːd]vb

(tr) to delay or slow down (the progress, speed, or development) of (something)
[from Old French retarder, from Latin retardāre, from re- + tardāre to make slow, from tardus sluggish; see tardy]
re·tard 1 

To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede.
To be delayed.
1. A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay.
2. Music A slackening of tempo.

re·tard 2  
n. Offensive Slang
1. Used as a disparaging term for a mentally retarded person.
2. A person considered to be foolish or socially inept.

Which brings me to my title.
What is a whore, a slut, a moll or a feminist for that matter? Is each slur different and why are there so many derogatory monikers like that that are specifically female? Unless specifically tweaked each of the words are assumed to be in relation to a female.

I will refrain from any academic definitions and will instead give my own perceptions of the following... nouns? Verbs? Ahem I shall continue.


What is a whore, who is a whore and what does she do? I think...
She is paid she is the worker or the hooker, the paid sex worker, she is not naive nor is she a loser. People resent the whore. Men love and hate the whore. Women often resent and don't get the whore and sometimes hate the whore. Whores are in a dangerous and threatening world, whores know and get the world, sex and carnal desire, they believe in a fair trade, they offer a service. Men and women sometime resent the trade. The fear is the whore is not actually stupid, the fear is the whore plays the game and often wins.



The slut is the good time girl. The slut can be used, abused and spat out - everyone knows what she is. Woman hate the slut, men secretly applaud her. The slut loves the quick mindless visceral satisfaction despite the emotional bruises and bumps, she'll take the ride aware of the potential scrapes and grazes. She is the 'take it now' realise later what she's gotten into. Often the slut wants to find the good guy. Shes just not afraid to try.


Moll is more a specifically Australian slang. If you are a Moll its not good. The mole is not clever, she is an almost bumbling partaker of casual sex, if she says no it could be misconstrued as rude. The moll is not smart nor is she clean. Men are almost ashamed to admit they have had sex with the moll. Sometimes the moll isn't a bad person but she can really stuff things up for everyone. The moll will get pregnant again and again, hurt every time, she wears her heart and her sex on her sleeve for everyone to see.


The Feminist

Now I can only speak personally about this topic and will only do so briefly, I am sure I have stood on enough toes as it is.  For me being a feminist is feeling unbound by a stereotypical limiting notion of being a woman. It is about freedom and not being afraid to voice my opinion.

We define our own words, craft own own language, acquire a vocabulary unique to ourselves. Distinct and defining the words we use are a beacon to the world.

I do occasionally use the above words only in reference to myself in a self disparaging humorous way diffusing the negative connotations. I mean no ones afraid of an 'old moll' the words are no more offensive or hurtful than we allow them to be.

Profanity is often used lightly in Australian language  but be warned, the initiated my fall flat of the mark and cross some very invisible cultural line, its a totally grey area and can cause great offense.

I want to understand what people mean when they say what they say. Am I a retard, a bit of a cheeky tart, should I be upset if someone shouts 'stupid slut' at me in traffic? Provided I am driving correctly not really. But may I say name calling is the lowest form of communication and largely means NOTHING at all,  it is not an effective use of language and becomes a vacuous noise that prevents us from saying what we actually feel.

Why don't we try and say what we really mean and speak from the heart, why don't we think about what we say just a little bit more? I am sure we have all had words burn into our cerebellum that cant be removed and not often are they praise. One harsh word can stick for decades.

It is always better to think about what we say, I know I am stating the obvious. I have thought about all of this before, I have discussed this, these specific words before, their definitions and perceived meaning with friends and colleagues, examined what it is we each mean by saying them. One word can pack quite a punch - be careful what you swing at someone. Personally I try to speak well, be positive and say what I mean and mean what I say...

that's my language of choice.


Liberace Museum : Liberace Home In Ruins Devistated by Economy in Las ...

I think I will make the pilgrimage regardless - his taste had no bounds as does mine...I am pressing my crimpoline dress in preparation, powdering myself and wearing as many fake jewels as my body can possibly carriage.

 I am coming Liberace I am coming!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Eat Like You Are Away ::: United Arab Eatery

I love food it is no secret and living in Melbourne is like an indulgent food discovery at any given time. Having recently eaten at Attica I was blown away by the quality of the food I came across at U.A.E United Arab Eatery and found myself making comparisons to the restaurant.
U.A.E is not a restaurant it is a lovely little homely cafe eatery.
Open for lunch and dinner everything is homemade and exquisite something to be experienced rather than recommended - they do offer take away and patrons were more than happy to wait for their order and I can understand why, in fact I thought thrice about sharing this place as I selfishly want to covet it and its limited seating. Beautifully selected ingredients are fresh and blended with seemingly effortless yet spectacular results. Another thing I love about this place is its conviction in regard to offering a limited array of drinks that perfectly compliment the menu.
This the Roasted eggplant and pumpkin meal I would seriously recommend as I would any other I have had since, the lamb and preserved lemon pide is also divine.
So if you want to get a little cosy and enjoy some great food every time - get to U.A.E tell them you read my blog and tell them Lisa says Hello.
107 High Street 
T: 9480 4044